The Monsters Inside My Closet

I promise not to falter...

I promise my words...

I offer
My dignity,
My forgiveness,
The shadows crossing my face...

I have a dark heart,
Purple veins,
And arteries
To be cut

I promise my blood,
Shed on the floor
Or dripping from my heart...

It's completely up to you...

I'll pay attention
To dark alleys
And unlocked doors

And I offer my safety
Because it's not that important anyway...

I have a glass, a bottle
And tears on my face...

Would you feel safe now?
Looking down the hill
And they're coming after you
For your dark heart, and purple veins
And dripping blood...

I know I don't.
And I run
And I falter
And my promises breaking
'Cause my safety is that important after all...

Would you feel safe now?
Feeling them getting under your skin,
Twisting,
Eating your guts,
Because of your dark heart
And purple veins
And dripping blood...

Are there tears on your face?

Enkeli

I don't know you
Not now, not then
And probably, I'll never do

The pieces of you
I came to know
Were merely that:
Pieces

I discovered, dear
How I want you
The whole you
Gentle and sour
Wicked and bewitching
Because you're the
Perfect balance

You should know, then
How messed up
All this is
How messed up I am
For myself
And how messed up are
Both of us together

We've been marked to death
And we've passed through
The world, the fears
And the demons
Eating from inside

Forgive me if I'm wrong
This is product of
Complete desperation
And being so
It tends to uselessness

But if I'm right
I'm turning to you
And I'm falling to my knees
And I'm offering you
All I have
Take all you want
My tender devotion
My cruel take-backs
My bitter unrequited love...

All I want in return is you
True and whole
Dark and enlightened
With heartless despise
Ruthless responses
And this sweet poison
Of yours...

Broken

I saw the light, once
I lived in there
Impregnated with its sweet touch

How could God leave me?
Why did He, the Almighty
Give me choice?
I saw the flames, I felt them
So warm...

They showed me beauty
They showed me love...
I wanted to touch and feel
And live and take things for myself...

How could He leave me?
The flames showed me the sins...
And God, I wanted them so bad!

Then I was burning
The flames, the flames!
So much pain, so much...
Dear God, I was lost...
And they whispered
I've made my choice...

I've got beauty, yes
I've got love
I've touched
I've sinned
I've felt
And lived
And took things for myself...

But the flames...
They took my everything
My soul, my wings
My light...

I saw the light once, yes
I still remember its touch...

O Mal da Mente

Se minhas memórias perdurassem
Agora estaria eu mesma prosseguindo
Se minhas pausas não fossem tão eternas
Haveria um caminho a seguir, sim

Então me pergunto
O porquê de tanta crueldade
Nesse coração escuro

Os meus gritos ecoam,
Nessa fenda sem fundo
Que se abre em mim
Meus demônios internos
Me atacando em bandos
Arrancando pedaços...

Onde era minha carne
Minha vida, meu ser...
Fui me esvaindo...

Venho sentindo então
A amargura do luto
O luto de mim mesma
Que me deixei morrer, sem culpa...

Mas sendo tarde como é
Já abracei a solidão
E o nevoeiro da mente
Cada vez mais denso
Enquanto vou partindo...

'D' for the devil

God, forgive me
For I've sinned

I have my share of promisses
That have always been broken
Just like my soul

I've tasted good
I've tasted evil
And both are as appealing as they seem

But I only hear the devil's whispers inside my head.

While I touched,
While I felt
And craved for
And imagined
Oh God, he took me to Heavens...

And I fell.

Sadismo

Em um só sopro
Solto, suave sobre a pele
É ação, é reação
É arrepio
É também corpo vazio
De mente hormonal

Reflexo no plano
Ou objeto real
Não se sabe
Nos teus olhos eu vejo
Ou tu vês em mim
O fogo no frio
Ou faca com o gume sem fio

E tu, conservado
Do mal que me domina
Guardado em redoma
Te alimento com o que tenho
Essa desculpa de amor
Que me resta
Que foi tudo o que restou

Das tuas pétalas vivazes,
Meu terno amor,
Suguei a luz
Para então te ver
Procurar salvação
Entre a espada e a cruz

Te parasitando, não encontrei
Nenhuma gota de vida
Que pudesse manter a minha...
O que é uma pena, de certo
Mas não vejo, então, nenhum motivo
Pra te ter por perto...

Moving On

I found my place, my sense
The essence of having me inside myself
I'm free, a newborn
Finally not in pieces
Like I'd been before

I have ordinary anxieties now
Just like everyone else seems to.
That and more made me free
I found my place, my sense
The essence of having myself inside me

Shame on you
Who tried to bring me down
I've grown strong on my bases
Lately
And so I'll be from now

No illusion of death
Can reach me anymore
No illusion of dominance
Can strike you true, to holiness
You've been there
And fell
Like you've been destined to,
Like I've been destined to, once
And overcame.

There must be love somewhere
But not around anymore
This love is dead and gone
For good.
Ours.